Sms quotes

Sms quotes

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?

Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

My Reality Check bounced.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!

Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.

Funny sms jokes

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant

Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.

Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1

What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.