Funny text messages

Funny text messages -- free funny text message -- funny joke -- funny text messaging jokes

* Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.

* The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

* Don't take life too seriously; no-one gets out alive.

* It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

* The longest sentence known to man: "I do."
# A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

# I had amnesia once - maybe twice.

#

All I ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy.
# The universe is a figment of its own imagination.

#

I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
#

Is there another word for synonym?
# Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any.

# Q: What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A: About 45 pounds!!

# Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?
A: We don't know. Never happens.

# Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

# ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.

# Q: Why do mountain climbers rope themselves together?
A: To prevent the sensible ones from going home.

# Q: What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A: Outlaws are wanted.

#

Q: What do you get when you put three ducks in a box?
A: A box of quackers.
#

Time is a marvellous healer but is a complete failure as a beautician.
# When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's £1.50 per minute

# Never let a man's mind wander, it's too little to be out on it's own

# Son asks diff btw Confidence and Confidential
Dad says, u are my son, I am Confident.
Ur friend is also my son, thats Confidential

# I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.

# I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

# What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A b*tch who knows everything.

# The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

# The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

#

I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
#

I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
#

Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.
# Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.

Funny Sms Jokes

Funny Sms Jokes

I know why I am single, my parents-in-law were not able to have kids...

I am not your type ... I am not inflatable.

I like to compare you with a nice cold glass of beer, beautiful colour, perfect taste, really perfect and when the glass is empty i just take the next one!

I once sniffed Coke, but the icecubes blocked my nostrils...

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful.The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one yokel is now holding his mobile in his hand

A woman likes to have four animals in the house: a jaguar in front of the doorway, a fox in the closet, a bull in bed, and a numbskulll to pay for this all.

Are these your eyes, I found them between my brests!

Be friendly with your kids, they choose your home when you are old!

Be nice to the ones who smoke.. every cigarette migh be their last.

BEEB! Send this message to 5 of your friends and you will have unbelievable sex tonight! If you break this chain, you'll never have multiple orgasms again!

Sms Funny

This is the telephone terrorist team. While receiving this message a virus will be activated. This virus should have infected your mobile by now. Your mobile will be disabled, unless you are ugly.

We will now upgrade your brain.......Please wait........Searching.......Searching.......Still searching........Sorry, no brain found !!!

Your future depends on your dreams - So go to sleep!

HALLO, this is your mobile. There is no particular problem. I just wanted to leave your pocket,the smell is unbearable!!!

20% of the population is now drinking coffee, 60% is having sex, 19% is watching television and one idiot is now holding his mobile in his hand

No one has ever complained of a parachute not opening.

God created the earth, God created the woods, God created you too, but yes, even God makes mistakes!

Love is photogenic; it needs darkness to develop

If being ugly would hurt, you would be in pain all day long.
?
Love me or leave me. Hey,where is everybody going ???

Scientists in the US proved that people who do not perform well in bed and who have difficulties to come hold their mobile in their right hand ..................]

Hey can u do me a favour, take a pic of urself n send me it, i'm playin cards n i'm missin the joker!!

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Always remember you're unique - just like everyone else.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock Jokes 1
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Avocado!
Avocado who?
Avocado a cold!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Axel!
Axel who?
Axeldental Tourist!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Atch!
Atch who?
I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Athena!
Athena who?
Athena flying saucer!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Argo!
Argo who?
Argo down the shops!

Funny sms

Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.

Sms quotes

Sms quotes

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.



It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.



I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.



You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.



I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.



My Reality Check bounced.



Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.



Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.



Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!


Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.



Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?



There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.



Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back



As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing



Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.



What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.


Funny sms jokes

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant



Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.



Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1



What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.

Age Quotes

Age Quotes

Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-- Kathy Lette
Email to a friend I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
-- Bob Hope
Email to a friend When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen
Email to a friend When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)
Email to a friend As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Email to a friend Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson
Email to a friend I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
-- Sir Cliff Richard
Email to a friend You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza
Email to a friend As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher
Email to a friend As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
-- Robert Quillen

Absurd SMS

Absurd SMS

Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …
☻NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME
☻Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
☻I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.
☻DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?

☻Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.
☻Don't drink water.… Fish fuck in it!
☻5 differences between Turkish en ET: ET looked better, ET learned English, ET came alone, ET had his own bike and wanted to go home!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.
☻Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
☻Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
☻Little birdy in the sky, dropped a poepie in my eye. i don't scream, i don't cry. i thank the lord that cow's can't fly!
☻Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…
☻I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fucking nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.
☻I met a boy in the states i give him my hart he gave me aids.
☻Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…
☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

Decent SMS Messages

Decent SMS Messages
Decent SMS, Decent SMS Messages, Decent Text Messages, Cool Decent Messages, Decent SMS In Urdu, Decent SMS Jokes, Decent Messages For Family And Friends, Decent SMS Messages In Hindi

No SwEet ThouGhts 2 ForWard ...
No Cute GrAphiCs 2 SenD ...
JUST A CaRinG HeaRt SaYinG ....
(*_*) TakE CaRe AlwaYs (*_*)

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Life is never measured by the years u hav, but by the carying u do,
the cheer and love u shared, and the happy people whose hearts u hav touched.

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nothing is impossible in this world,because impossible always says i m possible..

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When I pray I don"t see God, but I know He listens when I SMS I don"t
see you, but I know u think of me with a smile.

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Nothing is to want...
Nothing is to say...
GOD BLESS YOU!
It"s my Pray...

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The true meaning of life is to plant trees under who"s shade you do not expect
to sit.

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Sometimes I forget 2 say hi, sometimes I forget to reply, sometimes my msg doesn reach u, but it doesn"t mean I forget u. I"m just giving u time to Miss me

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GOD gives and forgives
.
.
.
.
.
.
men gets and forgets.......

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7 RULES TO BE HAPPY:
1>Never hate
2>Don""t worry
3>Live simple
4>Expect a little
5>Give a lot
6>Always smile
7>Have a great FRIEND like me!

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A simple "HELLO"
can be so sweat...

H= How r u?
E= Every thing ok
L= Like to c u
L= love 2 hear from u
O=Obviously I Miss u!

so....
HELLO!

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My Calcluations Are Ü+MË«»Û§

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I looked at a sweet, beautiful rose, and then I looked at you, and I kept
looking at you, for the rose isn"t as beautiful as you.

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Life ends when u stop
dreaming
Love ends when u stop
Believing
Hope ends when u stop
Hearing and..
I MISS U much more when u stop
MSG"ing ME.


When U are in trouble, never say oh ALLAH(GOD) I have a problem, instead say dear problem I have a big ALLAH(GOD) and u ll see how quickly ur problems comes to end.

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Never cry for those who donot deserve ur tears but who deserve your tears never let you cry

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Love is like a mountain,
hard to climb,
but once you get to the top
the view is beautiful

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Wen nites r long & frinds r few, i sit by my window & think of u.... A silent whisper a silent tear....with all my heart i wish u were here

" Always remember, a true friend is someone who
reaches for your hand and touches your heart"

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Smile in Pleasure,
Smile in pain,
smile when trouble pours like rain,
Smile when someone hurts U,
Smile bcoz someone cares 4 U...

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U-ME=NOTHING
U+ME=EVERYTHING
I LOVE U

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Every time I say "how are you?" my heart says "I care for you.". Everytime I ask "how have you been?" my heart whispers "I miss you"

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SENT WITH A SMILE
god in heaven,
god above
please protect the one i love,
sent with a smile,
sealed with a kiss,
i love the one who is reading this

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"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from
failure."

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FOUND YOU
I love you up from heaven
down to the ground
I"m really glad
to have you found

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if one star will fall everytime i miss you... all stars will be out of the sky now.... so if ever there will be no stars tonight it"s all your fault..... u made me miss you so much!!!!

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MAKING 100 FRIENDS A YEAR IS NOT AN ACHIEVEMENT,BUT AN ACHIEVEMENT IS TO MAKE A FRIEND FOR 100 YEARS

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May allah sain increase your happiness like price of petrol n decrease your sorrows like cloth of bipasha basu. Be happy take pepsi n lasii

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You can win me ,you can lose me but never try 2 use me

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People Live, People Die. People Laugh, People Cry. Some Give Up and Some Will Try. Some Say Hi and Some Say Bye!. Others May Forget You! But Never Will i

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Løvë î§ wëñ ü tåkë åwå¥ thë ƒëëlîñg thë Þ姧îøñ thë ®ømåñçë..& ü ƒîñd øüt.. ü §tîll çå®ë 4 thë Þ뮧øñ...!!

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Don"t cry in Love coz 4 whom u r crying does not deserve ur tears & the person who deserves it will never let u cry!!!

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Never waste an opportunity to say "I love U" to someone u really like, coz it is not everyday u"ll meet the person who has the magic to let u fall in love.

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All the right things are not always possible and all the possible things are not always right. so, be true to both your mind and heart then you will never go wrong.

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Your smile is like UFONE--> Its all about U.
Your voice is like ZONG--> Say it all.
Your love is like TELENNOR--> Expect More.
But our relation is like WARID--> We Care.

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When you find a dream inside your heart, don"t let it go. for dreams are the tiny seeds from which beautiful Tomorrow Grows.

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When we lose all helps and think its THE END.
Allah smiles and said
"Its just BEND not THE END"

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Some People Have Nice Eyes, Some Have a Nice Smile & Some of Them Have a Nice Face But Yoy Have All of Them Inclluding a nice Heart...

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Prayer is a free outgoing call to god.
No battery power, no charging, no network problem, no sim card.
Always good signal and endless talktime.

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Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and...
Only the CUTE 1"s receive
MESSAGES From ME!

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Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

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Someone somewhere dreams of your smile...and while thinking of you
says life is worthwhile. So whenever you"re lonely...remember its
true....someone somewhere is thinking of you

SMS Jokes

SMS Jokes

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message



God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested



The longest sentence known to man: "I do."



CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this



Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?



This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.



Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.



I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!



ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.



Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.



Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?



Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!



Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.



I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...



There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.



What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?



What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.



I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.



A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."



Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.



What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.



Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.




sms joke
(21 - 40)

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"



What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!



The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.



Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?



WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!



What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.



Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.



Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!



What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!



What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors



Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.



Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!



Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.



I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.



I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.



How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.


Funny SMS



What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.



Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.



Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.



Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!



What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!



What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.



How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.



Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.



Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.



Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An f****ing know it all.



A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.



Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.



I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.



Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.



What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...





Ringtones


sms quotes

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.



It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.



I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.



You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.



I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.



My Reality Check bounced.



Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.



Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.



Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!


Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.



Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?



There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.



Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back



As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing



Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.



What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.


Funny sms jokes

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant



Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.



Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1



What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.



What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.



Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering



How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.



Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.



If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?



Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"



If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?



Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.



I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.



I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.

Cool SMS Messages

Cool SMS Messages
Cool SMS Messages, Cool Text Messages, Cool SMS Text Messages, Cool Funny Messages, Cool Mobile SMS, Cool Love Text Messages


I think U r very careless!!!
U come & leave things behind!!!!
See now what u have left??
U just came in my mind & left a smile on my face....

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Our friendship has become our HABIT even if U take out H-ABIT remains.Take out A ,still BIT remains ,Finally take out B,still IT remains....

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When we sigh about our problems, they grow D_O_U_B_L_E. But when we laugh about them... they become ö ö ö ö ö BuBBLes! Have a bubbly life!

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Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and...
Only the CUTE 1"s receive
MESSAGES From ME!

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It is scientifically proved that suger can dissolve in water,so please dont go outside when it is raining, cuz u r the sweetest in the whole world.

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Do you know your 1 smile can make 100 peoples die, so u can decrease this over population, so baby, please keep on smiling

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It feels nice when some1 misses u, feels good when some1 loves u. feels better when some1"s with u. But it feels the best when some1 never 4gets u.

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Please remind me 2 remind U about reminding me to send U this reminder that reminds me of reminding U that U never have to remind me 2 remember U, I ALWAYS DO!

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9 lessons in life:
Learn 2 care, learn 2 smile, learn 2 cry, learn 2 give, learn 2 forgive, learn to share, learn to trust, learn 2 love & learn 2 SMS me DAILY...!!!

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Fresh Flowers for u
I m going to give fresh flowers 4 u and 4 ur loving thoughts and prayers to make u lighter and brighter.

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Friends are like fishes
You have to sit patiently for a long time
To catch a nice one
Just like I caught you
Better stay nice or I’ll fry you.

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A new sun, A new day
A new SMS asking you to
Forget all your Worries
Sorrows & Tears
For someone (me)
Who wants to see
You happy always

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Memories play a confusing role.
They make u laugh when u
remember the time u cried together.
But make u cry when u
remember the time u laughed together

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Look at the sky & see gods glory.
Look at the moon & see gods wonder.
Look at the mirror & see gods Blunder…
Just kidding! Hope I made you smile.
Have a nice day!


I'm getting married next month.
There would be a small party and
Only a few people will be invited.
Don't bring any gift.
Just bring someone to - Marry Me!

-----------------------------


Last night God gave me 2 choices
Either to have a good friend like you
Or to have excellent memory
I don’t remember what I chose…

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A candle may melt
And its fire may die,
But the love you have given me
Will always stay as a flame in my heart.

-----------------------------


Sweet fruits r nice to eat
Sweet words r nice to say
But sweet people r really hard to find
My goodness,
How the hell did
You manage to find me!

-----------------------------


We always feel bad
& think that good things
happen only to others
But we forget that we
are others for someone else too.

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4 Blessed ways of living:
1st,
Look back & Thank God.
2nd,
Look forward & Trust God
3rd,
Look around & Serve God.
4th,
Look within & Find God..!!

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My eyes r full of uncontrollable tears
Bcoz you are far away from me.
I wish you were near me today
To cut these onions instead of me.

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True friends r like diamonds
They r real & rare.
False friends r like leaves
They r scattered everywhere.
I was lucky to have found the diamond in you.

-----------------------------


A rupee is easy 2 earn...
but a smile is hard 2 find...
rupee loses its value...
smile increases its worth..
i lost a rupee when i sms u...
but who cares!
i won ur smile...

-----------------------------


Milne ki tamanna
lekar aaya hai ye sms,
Chehre pe smile ki
tamanna lekar
aaya hai ye sms,
Bhule nahi hai yar tuje,
Ye yaad dilane aaya hai
ye SMS.

-----------------------------


Troubles as light as air
Love as deep as ocean
Friends as solid as diamond
Success as bright as gold
These are my wishes for you.

-----------------------------


If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I�ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from

A rupee is easy 2 earn...
but a smile is hard 2 find...
rupee loses its value...
smile increases its worth..
i lost a rupee when i sms u...
but who cares!
i won ur smile...
y v dnt study whole year....
n spent sleepless night during exam?
coz
sahil k sakun se humne inkar nahi magar.
tufano se kashti nikalne ka maza or hai...

-----------------------------


titanic was sinking. romeo; juliet i love u. if i cant live with u then i am ready to die with u. juliet; romeo i love u but i love my life more and i can live without u. saying this juliet jumps out of titanic and swims to the ground.

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atif aslam; aab toh adaat si hay mujh ko. reema; kis cheez ki adaat ho gae ha tujh ko. atif;mohaabat ki adaat ho gae ha. reema;sach kaha aab to mujhey bhi adaat ho gae hay.lets go inside room and have fun then we will sing together aab to adaat si ha mujh ko.

-----------------------------


Dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil
dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re
Arrey chakkar aa gaya.

-----------------------------


u seem to be much careless nowdays...
alwayz leaving your things here and
there,
c what hav u done now u just came in
my mind and left a smile on my face...

-----------------------------


Aey khuda

sari khushian
Sari daulat
Sari izzat
Sari rematain
Sari barkatain
Sari mohabbaten
Sari chahatain

De de us ko
jis k dil main hai.........
.........
Dard-e-Disco:->;)

-----------------------------


Juice peene ka maza cup mein nahin glass mein hota hai,
Greeting card dene ka maza gharwali ko nahin saali ko hota hai.

-----------------------------


Dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil
dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re dil dola re
Arrey chakkar aa gaya.

-----------------------------


Unki Gaali ke chakkar kaat te kaat te,kutte humaare yaar ho gaaye,
Unki Gaali ke chakkar kaat te kaat te,kutte humaare yaar ho gaaye,
Woh to humhe naa mili..................
Magaar hum kutton ke Sardaar ho gaaye!!!

-----------------------------


A doctor can save my life
A lawyer can defend my life
A soldier can give me a peaceful life
But only a friend like u can give me
Your wife! Ha ha ha!!

-----------------------------


Teri nazron se nazar milane ko ji chahta hai,
kambhakth ye tera chashma beech mein aa jaata hai.

-----------------------------


Tum kya jano gum kya hota hai,
Tum kya jano gum kisey kehate hai,
Tum kya jano gum kya cheez hoti hai,
Tumne to hamesha fevicol use kiya hai.

-----------------------------


Talk 2 me wen I’m Bored, B with me wen i’m Sad, Hug me wen i Cry, Care 4 me wen i’m Sick, Don’t ever cry 4 me wen I die! Just treasure me wen I’m ALIVE.

to see light,look at sun..to see love look at moon..to see beauty,look at nature..to see hope,look at future..but,to see all of this,look at the mirror....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-----------------------------


I have a new kodak camera
ur snap please...
don"t move
steady
smile :)
ready
click
ohh ho
those who live in ones heart cant have a snap!!!

-----------------------------


sum ppl say happiness is lyf. others say it"s freedom. &sum say it"s money... but happiness 4me is just having da opportunity 2know u!!

-----------------------------


If i were to describe true love than i wud describe it as what a snowman did to a snow woman, he gave her a warm hug and they both melted in each others arms...

-----------------------------


If you see some one without a smile,give him one of yours ,because you are among a few good people who can shine others lives by just walking with him a few miles

-----------------------------


Difference between pleasure and torture
What is the diff between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of u & torture is thinking of u 2 much.

-----------------------------


Remember me and bare in mind A faithful girl is hard to find This is always good and true So dont go changing old for new!

-----------------------------


It only takes a minute to get a crush on someone an hour to like someone a day to love someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone

-----------------------------


May God increase ur happiness like prices of petrol, and decrease sorrows like clothes of Bipasha Basu.

-----------------------------


u r genius, ur mind is a master piece.It is divided into left and right.In the left part nothing is right and in right part nothing is left.

-----------------------------


An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

-----------------------------


Doctor"s prescription 4 u. A cute little smile 4 breakfast. More laughs 4 lunch. Lots of happiness for dinner. Doctor"s fee? An sms when u r free

-----------------------------


Relationship is like a garden
It's beautiful when watered with
Love, hug, tears & cheers.
But it dries up if left untouched…
So keep in touch always!

-----------------------------


Remember me and bear in mind
A faithful friend is hard to find
This is always good and true
So don’t go changing old for new!

-----------------------------


If u drop me I’ll break
If u hold me I’ll shake
If u need me I’ll hurry,
If u don’t call me I’ll worry
If u hurt me I’ll cry
But
If u leave me I’ll die.

Christmas SMS

Christmas SMS, Christmas Messages Collection
Christmas SMS collection, free Christmas messages and text messages, happy Christmas day messages.

wish you and your family a happy easter and
make your all days full of success and
happieness

---------

Lets welcome the year which is fresh and
new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets
celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas

---------------


A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift of hope and love. A blessed Christmas to you! Happy Holidays.

---------------


May your world be filled with warmth and good
chear this Holy season, and throughout the
year. Wish your christmas be filled with
peace and love. Merry X-mas.

---------------


May the joy and peace of Christmas be with
you all through the Year. Wishing you a
season of blessings from heaven above. Happy
Christmas

---------------


I hope you have a wonderful Christmas & a
great new year. Hopefully Santa will be extra
good to you. Merry Christmas & Happy new year

---------------


There is no ideal Christmas; only the one Christmas you decide to make as a reflection of your values, desires, affections, traditions.

---------------


I am dreaming of white Christmas , with every
christmas card i write, May your days be
merry and bright, and May all your
christmases be white.Happy Christmas.

---------------


Bells are ringing the wishes of christmas day
the flying snowflakes send my most sincere
blessings to you merry christmas

May the good times and treasures of the
present become the golden memories of
tomorrow.Wish you lots of love, joy and
happiness. MARRY CHRISTMAS

---------------


Warning: Xmas has been cancelled and its all
your fault! Someone told Santa that you had
been good all year .. He died laughing. Merry
xmas

---------------


your as big boned as father christmas claus,
your as stupid as a donkey, your as shit in
bed as a camal, but your still the right
person for me!

---------------


New is the year, new are the hopes and the
aspirations, new is the resolution, new are
the spirits and forever my warm wishes are
for u.Have a promising and fulfilling new
year.

---------------


May the glow of christmas the spirit of
christmas, and the magic of christmas fill
your heart all year long

---------------


May the joy and peace of Christmas be with
you all through the Year. Wishing you a
season of blessings from heaven above. Happy
Christmas

---------------


I hope you have a wonderful christmas I hope
you have a wonderful christmas . have a great
new year ! Hopefully santa will be extra good
to you .

---------------


Ur friendship is a glowing ember through the
yr n each december frm its warm n livin spark
v kindle flame against da dark n with its
shining radiance light our tree of faith on
Christmas night.

---------------


Christmas may be many things
or it may be a few.
For you, the joy
is each new toy;
for me;
it’s watching U.

---------------


Can I have your picture, so Santa Claus knows
exactly what to give me. Happy Christmas.

your as big boned as father christmas claus,
your as stupid as a donkey, your as shit in
bed as a camal, but your still the right
person for me!

---------------


May your world be filled with warmth and good
chear this Holy season, and throughout the
year.Wish your christmas be filled with peace
and love. Merry X-mas.

---------------


Christmas is church bells chiming joyfully
across the wintry sky, telling of the miracle
that came from God on high . Merry Christmas

---------------


Jingle bells Jingle bells what fun it is to
wish our friends a very merry christmas.

---------------


Heap on the wood!-the wind is chill; But let
it whistle as it will, We'll keep our
Christmas merry still.

---------------


If one night a big fat man jumps in at your
window, grabs you and puts you in a sack
don't worry I told Santa I wanted you for
CHRISTMAS.HAPPY CHRISTMAS

---------------


Lets welcome the year which is fresh and
new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets
celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas

---------------


May all the sweet magic
Of Christmas conspire
To gladden your hearts
And fill every desire.

---------------


Two things upon this changing earth can
neither change nor end; the splendor of
Christ's humble birth, the love of friend for
friend.

---------------


Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more
beautiful.

your as big boned as father christmas claus,
your as stupid as a donkey, your as shit in
bed as a camal, but your still the right
person for me!

---------------


Lets welcome the year which is fresh and
new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets
celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas

---------------


I hope you have a wonderful christmas . have
a great new year ! Hopefully santa will be
extra good to you . enjoy your holidays !
HAPPY CHRISTMAS

---------------

if one night you wake up and a big fat male
is trying to put you in a sack please don't
be afraid because i told santa all i want for
christmas is you.HAPPY CHRISTMAS


---------------


Chritmas ka yeh pyara tyohaar jeevan mein
laye khushiyan apaar, santa clause aaye aapke
dwar, subhkamna hamari kare sweekar. Merry
Christmas.

---------------


I hope you have a wonderful christmas . have
a great new year ! Hopefully santa will be
extra good to you . enjoy your holidays !

---------------


A silent night, a star above, a blessed gift
of hope and love. A blessed Christmas to you!

---------------


If one night you wake up and a big fat male
is trying to put you in a sack please don't
be afraid because i told santa all i want for
christmas is you.

Birthday SMS / Birthday Text Messages

Birthday SMS / Birthday Text Messages

We have large collection of Birthday SMS, Birthday Text Messages, Birthday Greetings, Birthday SMS Wishes, Free Birthday SMS, Birthday SMS for mobile, Romantic Birthday SMS, Birthday Jokes, Latest Birthday SMS Messages, New Birthday SMS, Sweet Birthday SMS and Jokes, Cute Birthday SMS, English Birthday SMS, Special Birthday SMS, Ascii Birthday SMS Messages, Funny Birthday SMS Messages, Birthday SMS in Hindi and many more.

Birthday SMS / Birthday Text Messages is the nice way to tell your friend or family that you remember them. A Happy Birthday SMS Message is a way to wish and compliment your dear ones.

Ths msg has No Fat
No cholesterol n No Addictive
Dis is all natural except, with a lot of sugar. But it can never be as sweet as the one reading it.
Smile N Happy Birthday

----------------------


wishing u a day soft as silk.....
white as milk.....
sweet as honey&full of money.
may all ur dreams come true....
HAPPY BIRTH DAY

----------------------


Step by step the journey goes on,
Little by little it may seem so long.
Forget about your past, you can't change it,
Forget about your future, you cant predict it.
Just think about present, you can handle it.
Enjoy presents every moment & be happy....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY to U....!

----------------------


may almighty shower u with blessings on ur BIRTHDAY.luv u aiways..

----------------------


May your life be filled with colours
An yours w-i-s-h-e-s all come true

----------------------


Baby happy birthday to hope u will always have a good health, more career in life..and hope that more birthdays to come..always take care and i love u so much

----------------------


(Language: Urdu)
"motiyan, bela, phool, kaliyan,
dekho yaroo shad hain na,
aj tumhari salgirah hai,
dekhoo ham ko yaad hai na!"

----------------------


A Birthday is A Million Moments, Each holding A Promise Of Fulfillment Of UR Dreams, & ACCOMPLISHMENTS Of Some Special Plans.. Wish U A Very Happy B'DAy

----------------------


May all your days be filled with memories and flowers, friendship and happy hours.Happy Birthday

----------------------


Its just another day, but this one is the best of the year! Happy Birthday my sweetheart.

----------------------


Wishing you all the fun and excitement that only birthdays can bring, Happy Birthday

----------------------


wishing u a day soft as silk.....
white as milk.....
sweet as honey&full of money.
may all ur dreams come true....
HAPPY BIRTH DAY

----------------------


(Language: Hindi)
Dua hai Ki Kamyabi ke har sikhar pe aap ka naam hoga, aapke har kadam par duniya ka salam hoga, Himat se mushkilon ka samana karna hamari dua hai ki waqt
bhi ek din aapka gulam hoga. Happy Birthday

April Fool SMS

April Fool SMS

Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!

----------------------


Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you.
You know Whose???
Your Own Stupid!!!
Happy April Fool Day!

----------------------


If ever in your life u r very sad n feel that u have lost everything, I’ll come, hold ur hand, take u 4 walk on a bridge and show u where 2 jump from.

----------------------


MAKAYA, HAKAYA, RUMBHA, ZUMBHATIMBAK, TUMBA, JINGALA JINGA, RAGIRA, VAGIRA, HELULU, HETATA, NARAKA, HIBAHA. Congratulations!! u r perfect AADHIVASI.

----------------------


Your girlfriend is:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
In short she is your S.I.S.T.E.R.

----------------------


This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat, keep cat, an cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,20 cat, seconds cat !... Now read it without the word cat.

----------------------


Read each word reversely: A SUOMAF ROTCOD DLOT EM TAHT YLNO LATNEM STNEITAP EVAH EHT TNELAT OT DAER SMS NEVENEHW STI NETTIRW YLESREVER.

----------------------


When are you going to marry me? I can live without you. I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl.

----------------------


Count S in SIHT SI WOH OT EKAM A DIPUTS YSUB

(hint-

it should be 5)



Read caps word reversely.

----------------------


Feeling bored?
Wondering, what to do?

Open the zip!

Enter your hands in between your zip..

take out your...


book from your bag and study..

Anniversary SMS

Anniversary sms, marriage anniversary sms, happy anniversary sms, wedding anniversary sms, anniversary poems, anniversary ideas, anniversary quotes, short cute anniversary poems, free anniversary poems, happy wedding anniversary sms greetings messages & quotes, wedding sms sayings etc

All my love for you FREE! wishing u a very happy ANNIVERSARY....!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Happy Anniversary and May your marriage be Blessed with love, joy And companionship For all the years of your lives!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


That special day is here again The day we took our vows You're just as special to me today As you still get me aroused. Happy Anniversary Lover

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


I'm sending this bouquet of love To say that I love you so much I hope I say it often enough I want you to know it's true, On this special occasion I want to remind you That you are my everything And my love is true, Happy Anniversary Lover!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Best wishes to you both on ur anniversary, May the love that you share Last your lifetime through, As you make a wonderful pair. Happy Wedding

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


To the beautiful couple in all the land, May your anniversary be Happy and Grand. Happy Anniversary

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


On this special day, best wishes go to you, that this wonderful love u share, lasts your lifetime through. Happy anniversary to you my Love

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Hoping that the love you shared years ago Is still as strong today as it was then Bringing you much joy , love and happiness To celebrate again. Happy Anniversary

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Long after our anniversary And this greeting has been thrown away Think of the thought behind it, Each and everyday, Happy Anniversary Lover!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


How true my feelings were I found out to be The best thing in my life Was when you married me
Thank you my loving wife(loving Husband), For the years we share I know one thing for sure We make a wonderful pair

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Nothing in this world Could ever be As wonderful as the love You've given me
Your love makes my days so very bright, just knowing you're my darling wife (Husband). Happy Anniversary

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


I LOVE U are words just three, which mean so much on our ANNIVERSARY. so this is what i want to say, live in my heart n there 4 ever stay!

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


Marriage is that relation between man and women in which tha Independence is Equal, the Dependence mutual and tha Obligation Reciprocal". Best wishes for Happy Wedding Anniversary.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*


A husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Wife - As Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah" she replies, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads,
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Funny SMS

::: Funny SMS
- Daca as fi pamant m-as ingopa cu tine. Daca as fi apa m-as ineca cu tine. Daca as fi aer m-as sufoca cu tine. Daca ai fi foc te-ai arde cu mine?

::: Funny SMS
- Sunt un spiridus infocat, si la noapte ma voi strecura la tine-n pat !!!

::: Funny SMS
- As vrea sa fiu cu tine, sa stau cu tine, sa merg cu tine, sa ma plimb cu tine ,dar nu se poate draga mea caci eu ma fac de rusine cu tine, ok?

::: Funny SMS
- In romania 3 milioane de oameni fac sex... doua milioane au terminat... si un milion se pregatesc sa o faca... Numa un labagiu ca tine sta si citeste mesaju asta :-)

::: Funny SMS
- Lovite-ar cu putere cel mai mare noroc din lume si cel mai mare sac de bani si crapasa-ar butoiu cu sanatate deasupra ta!

::: Funny SMS
- Participa la ziua nationala impotriva bolilor mintale. Trimite acest mesaj unui prieten retardat, asa cum am facut-o si eu.

::: Funny SMS
- Horoscop: SANATATE - astrele iti surâd, BANI - astrele iti surâd si mai tare. DRAGOSTE - astrele deja se caca pe ele de râs. (by ovi4u)

::: Funny SMS
- Suna-ti prietena, s-ar putea sa fie cu mine :)

::: Funny SMS
- Ai 25 de secunde ca sa-mi trimiti un SMS din care au mai ramas 15... daca nu-mi trimiti in urmatoarele 10 secunde, din care au mai ramas 5 imi datorezi O NOAPTE DE DRAGOSTE ...

::: Funny SMS
- Noapte Buna, sper sa visezi ceva frumos si dragutz la noapte: pe mine normal, la ce te gandeai?

::: Funny SMS
- De la un beep se ajunge la o intalnire, de la o intalnire la un sarut, de la un sarut la o noapte de amor... ce zici imi dai un beep?

::: Funny SMS
- Mos Craciun mi-a promis ca-mi va aduce anul acesta ceva frumos si nostim daca voi fi cuminte. Am fost cel mai cuminte baiat din lume si acu te voi avea in sfarsit :))

::: Funny SMS
- Esti o fiinta atat de draguta, politicoasa, frumoasa, sincera, spirituala si unica pe aceasta lume... Primeste urarile mele de bine si aceste minciuni nevinovate.

::: Funny SMS
- Asta-i fata ta sau te strambi la telefon cand citesti mesaje?

::: Funny SMS
- Catelul are o catelusa, vrabioiul are o vrabiuta, motanul are o pisicuta, broscoiul are o broscuta, porumbelul are o porumbita... tu nu vrei sa ma ai pe mine?