Sms quotes
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
My Reality Check bounced.
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!
Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.
Funny sms jokes
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
Age Quotes
Age Quotes
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-- Kathy Lette
Email to a friend I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
-- Bob Hope
Email to a friend When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen
Email to a friend When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)
Email to a friend As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Email to a friend Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson
Email to a friend I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
-- Sir Cliff Richard
Email to a friend You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza
Email to a friend As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher
Email to a friend As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
-- Robert Quillen
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-- Kathy Lette
Email to a friend I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
-- Bob Hope
Email to a friend When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen
Email to a friend When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)
Email to a friend As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Email to a friend Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson
Email to a friend I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
-- Sir Cliff Richard
Email to a friend You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza
Email to a friend As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher
Email to a friend As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
-- Robert Quillen
Absurd SMS
Absurd SMS
Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …
☻NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME
☻Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
☻I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.
☻DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?
☻Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.
☻Don't drink water.… Fish fuck in it!
☻5 differences between Turkish en ET: ET looked better, ET learned English, ET came alone, ET had his own bike and wanted to go home!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.
☻Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
☻Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
☻Little birdy in the sky, dropped a poepie in my eye. i don't scream, i don't cry. i thank the lord that cow's can't fly!
☻Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…
☻I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fucking nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.
☻I met a boy in the states i give him my hart he gave me aids.
☻Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…
☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …
☻NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME
☻Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
☻I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.
☻DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?
☻Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.
☻Don't drink water.… Fish fuck in it!
☻5 differences between Turkish en ET: ET looked better, ET learned English, ET came alone, ET had his own bike and wanted to go home!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.
☻Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
☻Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
☻Little birdy in the sky, dropped a poepie in my eye. i don't scream, i don't cry. i thank the lord that cow's can't fly!
☻Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…
☻I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fucking nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.
☻I met a boy in the states i give him my hart he gave me aids.
☻Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…
☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.
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