Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law? Boy: Not really, but I don't see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
"I hear that you drop some money in Stocks. Were you a bull or a bear?" "Neither, just a plain simple ass."
A lady delivered twins. Suprisingly one is a boy and another is a dog how it is possible? Bcoz her husband is HUTCH DEALER.... wherever u go out network follows
Dream makes al things possible, Hope makes al things work, luv makes al thigs beutifl, smile makes al d abv so always BRUSH UR TEETH...!
Husband: Today is sunday & I have to enjoy it. So i bought 3 movie tickets. Wife: why three? Husband: 4 u and ur parents.
A police recruit was asked during exam, "What would u do if u had to arrest ur own mother?" He said, "Call for backup."
A baby monkey asks his father, Father why r we so ugly? The father says to him, don't stress my son u should see the one who is reading this!!
Her Job & My Job Her Job is to Bitch! Mine is to give her a Reason!
What do u call a woman in heaven? An Angel. A crowd of woman in heaven? A host of Angels. And all woman in heaven? PEACE ON EARTH!
Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Tommy: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl.
Sms quotes
Sms quotes
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
My Reality Check bounced.
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!
Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.
Funny sms jokes
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.
It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.
I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.
You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.
I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.
My Reality Check bounced.
Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.
Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.
Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!
Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.
Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing
Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.
What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.
Funny sms jokes
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.
Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1
What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.
Age Quotes
Age Quotes
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-- Kathy Lette
Email to a friend I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
-- Bob Hope
Email to a friend When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen
Email to a friend When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)
Email to a friend As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Email to a friend Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson
Email to a friend I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
-- Sir Cliff Richard
Email to a friend You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza
Email to a friend As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher
Email to a friend As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
-- Robert Quillen
Age to women is like Kryptonite to Superman.
-- Kathy Lette
Email to a friend I'm so old they've cancelled my blood type.
-- Bob Hope
Email to a friend When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half.
-- Gracie Allen
Email to a friend When I was young I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then and I'm labeled senile.
-- George Burns (Just you and me Kid, 1979)
Email to a friend As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two...
-- Sir Norman Wisdom
Email to a friend Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late.
-- Mike Tyson
Email to a friend I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian.
-- Sir Cliff Richard
Email to a friend You know you're getting fat when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.
-- John Mendoza
Email to a friend As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't.
-- Carrie Fisher
Email to a friend As we grow older, our bodies get shorter and our anecdotes longer.
-- Robert Quillen
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