Absurd SMS

Absurd SMS

Linux is like a wigwam, no windows, no gates and an apache inside …
☻NOKIA VIRUS Enter PIN code: Enter PIN code: F Enter PIN code: FU Enter PIN code: FUC Enter PIN code: FUCK YOU ! YOU JUST BEEN FUCKED BY ME
☻Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!
☻I'd ride u sitting, I'd ride u lying. If u were a bird I'd ride u flying. And when ur dead and long forgotten I'll dig u up and ride u rotten.
☻DO NOT PRESS ANY KEY This is: -Virus- Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Phone Locked Hehe! NERVOUS?

☻Feeling stoned? feeling high? Fuck a duck and try to fly.
☻Don't drink water.… Fish fuck in it!
☻5 differences between Turkish en ET: ET looked better, ET learned English, ET came alone, ET had his own bike and wanted to go home!
☻Hello I am a virus and I am entering your brain right now..... sorry I will leave, I can't find a brain.
☻I don't love. I don't care. I just married a millionair. And if he dies I don't cry, I just fuck another guy.
☻Idiot (id-ee-it) n.- One who disagrees with you.
☻Elvis is dead and I don't feel so good myself.
☻Little birdy in the sky, dropped a poepie in my eye. i don't scream, i don't cry. i thank the lord that cow's can't fly!
☻Roses are red, violets are blue, most poems ryhm, but this one doesn't…
☻I'm popey the sailorman, I'm member of the klu klux clan, when I pull the triger, I kill a fucking nigger. I'm popey the sailor man, toet toet.
☻I met a boy in the states i give him my hart he gave me aids.
☻Mommy, Mommy! Can I wear a bra now? I'm 16.. Shut up, Albert…
☻How to keep an idiot entertained *press down* ................... .................... How to keep an idiot entertained *press up*
☻The best anti-virus program for a computer is SAVE-SEX.
Leave the plastic cover on the floppy when inserting in drive.

Decent SMS Messages

Decent SMS Messages
Decent SMS, Decent SMS Messages, Decent Text Messages, Cool Decent Messages, Decent SMS In Urdu, Decent SMS Jokes, Decent Messages For Family And Friends, Decent SMS Messages In Hindi

No SwEet ThouGhts 2 ForWard ...
No Cute GrAphiCs 2 SenD ...
JUST A CaRinG HeaRt SaYinG ....
(*_*) TakE CaRe AlwaYs (*_*)

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Life is never measured by the years u hav, but by the carying u do,
the cheer and love u shared, and the happy people whose hearts u hav touched.

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nothing is impossible in this world,because impossible always says i m possible..

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When I pray I don"t see God, but I know He listens when I SMS I don"t
see you, but I know u think of me with a smile.

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Nothing is to want...
Nothing is to say...
GOD BLESS YOU!
It"s my Pray...

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The true meaning of life is to plant trees under who"s shade you do not expect
to sit.

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Sometimes I forget 2 say hi, sometimes I forget to reply, sometimes my msg doesn reach u, but it doesn"t mean I forget u. I"m just giving u time to Miss me

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GOD gives and forgives
.
.
.
.
.
.
men gets and forgets.......

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7 RULES TO BE HAPPY:
1>Never hate
2>Don""t worry
3>Live simple
4>Expect a little
5>Give a lot
6>Always smile
7>Have a great FRIEND like me!

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A simple "HELLO"
can be so sweat...

H= How r u?
E= Every thing ok
L= Like to c u
L= love 2 hear from u
O=Obviously I Miss u!

so....
HELLO!

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My Calcluations Are Ü+MË«»Û§

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I looked at a sweet, beautiful rose, and then I looked at you, and I kept
looking at you, for the rose isn"t as beautiful as you.

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Life ends when u stop
dreaming
Love ends when u stop
Believing
Hope ends when u stop
Hearing and..
I MISS U much more when u stop
MSG"ing ME.


When U are in trouble, never say oh ALLAH(GOD) I have a problem, instead say dear problem I have a big ALLAH(GOD) and u ll see how quickly ur problems comes to end.

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Never cry for those who donot deserve ur tears but who deserve your tears never let you cry

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Love is like a mountain,
hard to climb,
but once you get to the top
the view is beautiful

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Wen nites r long & frinds r few, i sit by my window & think of u.... A silent whisper a silent tear....with all my heart i wish u were here

" Always remember, a true friend is someone who
reaches for your hand and touches your heart"

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Smile in Pleasure,
Smile in pain,
smile when trouble pours like rain,
Smile when someone hurts U,
Smile bcoz someone cares 4 U...

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U-ME=NOTHING
U+ME=EVERYTHING
I LOVE U

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Every time I say "how are you?" my heart says "I care for you.". Everytime I ask "how have you been?" my heart whispers "I miss you"

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SENT WITH A SMILE
god in heaven,
god above
please protect the one i love,
sent with a smile,
sealed with a kiss,
i love the one who is reading this

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"There are no secrets to success. It is the result of preparation, hard work, learning from
failure."

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FOUND YOU
I love you up from heaven
down to the ground
I"m really glad
to have you found

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if one star will fall everytime i miss you... all stars will be out of the sky now.... so if ever there will be no stars tonight it"s all your fault..... u made me miss you so much!!!!

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MAKING 100 FRIENDS A YEAR IS NOT AN ACHIEVEMENT,BUT AN ACHIEVEMENT IS TO MAKE A FRIEND FOR 100 YEARS

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May allah sain increase your happiness like price of petrol n decrease your sorrows like cloth of bipasha basu. Be happy take pepsi n lasii

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You can win me ,you can lose me but never try 2 use me

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People Live, People Die. People Laugh, People Cry. Some Give Up and Some Will Try. Some Say Hi and Some Say Bye!. Others May Forget You! But Never Will i

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Løvë î§ wëñ ü tåkë åwå¥ thë ƒëëlîñg thë Þ姧îøñ thë ®ømåñçë..& ü ƒîñd øüt.. ü §tîll çå®ë 4 thë Þ뮧øñ...!!

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Don"t cry in Love coz 4 whom u r crying does not deserve ur tears & the person who deserves it will never let u cry!!!

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Never waste an opportunity to say "I love U" to someone u really like, coz it is not everyday u"ll meet the person who has the magic to let u fall in love.

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All the right things are not always possible and all the possible things are not always right. so, be true to both your mind and heart then you will never go wrong.

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Your smile is like UFONE--> Its all about U.
Your voice is like ZONG--> Say it all.
Your love is like TELENNOR--> Expect More.
But our relation is like WARID--> We Care.

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When you find a dream inside your heart, don"t let it go. for dreams are the tiny seeds from which beautiful Tomorrow Grows.

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When we lose all helps and think its THE END.
Allah smiles and said
"Its just BEND not THE END"

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Some People Have Nice Eyes, Some Have a Nice Smile & Some of Them Have a Nice Face But Yoy Have All of Them Inclluding a nice Heart...

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Prayer is a free outgoing call to god.
No battery power, no charging, no network problem, no sim card.
Always good signal and endless talktime.

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Only the open heart receives
LOVE
Only the open mind receives
WISDOM
Only the open hand receives
GIFTS
and...
Only the CUTE 1"s receive
MESSAGES From ME!

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Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you.

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Someone somewhere dreams of your smile...and while thinking of you
says life is worthwhile. So whenever you"re lonely...remember its
true....someone somewhere is thinking of you

SMS Jokes

SMS Jokes

News: 3 Chimps escaped from the zoo... 1 was caught watching tv... another playing football and the third one was caught reading this txt message



God made man and then rested. God made women and then no one rested



The longest sentence known to man: "I do."



CNN News. Bush orders 15,000 FBI trained dogs to track down Osama. FBI awaiting further orders as one of the dogs is reading this



Crime doesn't pay...Does that mean my job is a crime?



This dog, is dog, a dog, good dog, way dog, to dog, keep dog, an dog, idiot dog, busy dog, for dog, 20 dog, seconds dog! ... Now read without the word dog.



Why were males created before females?
Cos you always need a rough draft before the final copy.



I want to suck you... lick you... wanna move my tongue all over you...wanna feel you in my mouth...yep, tat's how u...eat an ice cream!



ALGEBRA: A weapon of math destruction.



Don't spend $2 to dry-clean a shirt. Donate it to the Salvation Army instead. They'll clean it, put it on a hanger. Next morn buy it back for 50p.



Do you ever notice that when you're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?



Q:What is the difference between a wife and a girlfriend?
A:About 45 pounds!!



Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.



I think drinking and driving is terrible. You always spill it when you change gears...



There was this Eskimo chick who spent the night with her boyfriend. Next morning she found out she was 6 months pregnant.



What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe through that thing?



What happened when the Pope went to Mount Olive?
Popeye beat the crap outta him.



I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.



A 3-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and says:
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."



Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.



What's the diff between a Rottwieler and a Poodle?
If Rotty starts humping your leg, let it finish.



Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their bodyguards.




sms joke
(21 - 40)

Two goldfish are in a tank. One says to the other, "Do you know how to drive this thing?"



What is the difference between a woman and a magnet?
Magnets have a positive side!



The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.



Q: What does a blonde owl say?

A: What, what?



WOMAN: The most efficient money reducing agent known to man-kind!



What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.



Why was Phillip's girlfriend annoyed?
Coz she found out that Phillips 24 inch was a TV.



Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet?
He was looking for Pooh!



What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
You don't, you've told her twice already!



What's the difference between Margaret Thatcher and Edwina Currie?
One screwd the miners, the other screwed Majors



Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up.



Jesus saves, he shoots, HE SCORES!!



Any woman that thinks the way to a mans heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.



I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.



I like Kids. But I don't think I could eat a whole one.



How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?
Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

For sale : Twin beds, one hardly used.


Funny SMS



What do you call a Lada/Skoda at the top of a hill? A miracle.



Whats the definitoin of suspicion? A nun doing pressups in a cucumber field.



Why doesn't Jesus eat M and M's? Cos they fall through his hands.



Whits pink, wrinkled and hangs oot yer trousers??? Yer Gran!



What are 3 words you never wanna hear whilst making love? Honey, I'm home!



What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A bitch who knows everything.



How do you save a man from drowning? Take yer foot of his head.



Q: How many men does it take to change a toilet roll?

A: We don't know. Never happens.



Q: Why was the leper caught speeding?

A: He couldn't take his foot of the accelerator.



Q: What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore?

A: An f****ing know it all.



A chicken sandwidch walked into the bar, ordered some food and beer. The bartender says: "Sorry, we don't serve food here".

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.



Why do farts smell? For benefit of the deaf.



I've got the ship, you've got the harbor ... what say we tie up for the night?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.



Why'd the couple stop after 3 children? Cos they heard every fourth child born is chinese.



What did the drummer get on his IQ test? Drool...





Ringtones


sms quotes

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.



It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.



I wonder if you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get you.



You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.



I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.



My Reality Check bounced.



Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.



Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will whiz on your computer.



Lightyears ahead! Just a phonecall away!


Very funny Scotty. Now beam up my clothes.



Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?



There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.



Borrow money from pessimists--they don't expect it back



As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing



Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.



What do you call a handcuffed man?
- Trustworthy.


Funny sms jokes

What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant



Q: What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?

A: Run like hell....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth.



Why don't men often show their true feelings?
- Because they don't have any. 1



What's the difference between a man and E.T.?
- E.T. phoned home.



What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.



A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.



Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering



How Dogs and Women are alike.....
Neither believe that silence is golden.
Neither can balance a checkbook.
Both put too much value on kissing.



Marriage is the process of finding out what kind of man your wife would have preferred.



If you jogged backward ... would you gain weight?



Did you hear about the new Chinese Cookbook being sold only at pet stores?
"101 Ways to Wok Your Dog"



If you can't change your mind, are you sure you still have one?



Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? that's how dogs spend their lives.



I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain. No pain.



I only use de-oudourant under one arm, so I know what I would have smelled of.

Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world? He drowned.